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Ninja soundboard code#

If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the end button. If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2.

(name) is not available to take your call as of right now.

The number you have reached is currently not in service, but when I wake up and turn my phone back on, it will be!.

Leave your name and number and I will return your call…If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills. You want to know why? Because I’m not here right now.

Hello? Oh hey wait a minute I can’t hear you… Sorry, hold on… Nope, still can’t hear you.

(Very long pause) Wait! Please don’t hang up! I want to hear what you have to say.

If I hear your message and deem you worthy or the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are. If your one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone.

You have reached the voice mail box of (your name).

Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you have short term memory loss and you don’t know who we are or why you called, please press 3 and we will remind you. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.Hello? (Pause) You’re still talking!? Shut the up! BEEP.Not me, so leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can! If you leave a long one don’t count on it. You want to know something I hate? I hate long messages, so why don’t you leave a short one and I’ll get back to you. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek….aaannnddd…it’s winning. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you want.If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail.Hello? … Yea … Uh huh … Yea … No, you stop yelling at me … Oh, you’re yelling alright … you know what, I’m hanging up … yes, I am … (Beep) –.Hello, if you’re hearing this, that means I’m probably trying to avoid you, so don’t leave a message, ’cause nobody likes you.Hi! It’s ! Let’s Meet Up! I’m Close!!! (make running sounds then cut off).

Who is this?! How did you get this number?!.No one answers phone calls anymore send me a text.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: